In a Dark Dark Wood

In a dark dark wood,
there was a dark dark path.

And up that dark dark path,
there was a dark dark house.

And in that dark dark house,
there was a dark dark stair.

And up that dark dark stair,
there was a dark dark room.

And in that dark dark room,
there was a dark dark cupboard.

And in that dark dark cupboard,
there was a dark dark box.

And in that dark dark box,
there was a....GHOST.

I am sure all of us have come across this folk tale sometime in our lives. I like the way when it entices our minds into thinking of a big area to start with and it shrinks down to a smaller and smaller place until the nucleus of it, the subject matter, comes alive… there was a GHOST.

Don’t you think there is a similarity in whatever things we are dealing in, we should focus on the big picture of it first before pursuing the directions we set, of which later breeds into the action plans with the breakdowns of activities to work on until the real thing we are aiming for comes out as a result of it?

I think it does.

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Murphy's Law

Right from the time when I was a student, I wanted to have a business of my own. It was supposed to be a gradual process after acquiring certain knowledge and experience. But it happened sooner than expected; the opportunity to have it came in a surprising manner when I lost my job years ago.

When I mention to people that I came into the business world because I failed to secure a job after the last downfall, the reaction is nonplussed.

It’s true. I lost everything. Well, it was actually not much of everything that I had lost as I accumulated no wealth throughout but the pride was. That was back in Year 2001.

You can imagine when you are used to have a “good life” with a “good pay” and a big car and all of the sudden you are left with nothing. At first, to be at the taxi stand or LRT station to commute felt like the whole world was laughing at me. It’s different when you commute using the public transports out of your own choice while you are having your Porsche, or BMW, or CLS-Class, or even Kancil for that matter parked under the shade somewhere at the station or home. And it’s different for not having a mean of a transport of your own when you choose not to have one but in my case it was necessary for me to have one but I could not afford it.

It damaged my pride. The worst feeling is when I had to sit around not having the regular things that I had before to be dealing with.

But it was not too long before I got back on my feet understanding what I had already understood about the reality of life. I had nothing in life before. Then I had the opportunity to have something. And now, that little something was back to nothing. So what’s the big deal? The only thing was, without realizing it, I had allowed the pride in me to build the wall. I should've put it in the pocket, instead.

To make the story short, I was actually hunting around for a job but The Murphy’s Law worked on me at that time. The time when I was employed, plenty of offers from other corporations wanted to fish me out but when the time I desperately needed it, none was available.

I am quite handy with papers and paper works. I may be am not the best person in the world to conceptualize a business plan but the sketch I worked on while I was alone at home later turned out to be something of a value to some quarters. In fact, what I did was just pouring out my frustrations and capitalizing on my imaginations for the escapism purposes. Little did I know someone would take it seriously.

That’s how I get myself into the business circle.

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Rambling: An Afternoon with My Kids

Last week on Tuesday…..

Edrin was excited for a swim at a swimming pool at the club house in our area, Saujana Utama Club House, some 200 meters on the straight line from our home, up on the gradient. It has been a while since the last time my boys went there swimming. He hurried with the gears, had the swimwear readily worn underneath his daily wear, a bottle of cold drinks, an empty laundry bag for wet clothes, and towels – packed in a sling bag, shared with Sam’s. Since the excitement was greatly in Edrin, Sam just sat there on the couch finishing off the game on his Nintendo GameBoy. Edrin was seen a bit pissed off when Sam teased him – jokingly threatens not to go if he fails to pack up for him.

“Kalau tak jumpa goggle Sam… Sam tak nak pergi…”
“Hehehe… I am the Boss… Kan Aesh?
(Edrin is called as Aesh by Fara & Sam, originated from his 1st name Farez but my wife and I call on his 2nd name, Edrin)

A glance from the corner of his eyes, tongue-in-cheek, demonstrating his annoyance with Sam and Sam continues laughing.

But Edrin packed up anyway.

“Cepatlah Sammm…” Edrin just couldn’t stand anymore when he was all ready with the bag hanging on his left shoulder.

“OK…OK… Nak siap ni…” Sam walked off from the couch while his eyes still glued on the Gameboy screen in his hands. Swiftly to the room, put on his swimwear before using back the clothes he was wearing on top.

“Kak Ana tu…” The boys call their sister Fara Liyana as Kak Ana. Before Edrin finished his sentence, the sister Fara already acted upon it, acknowledged his agitation.

Fara dashed to have her tudung on, almost bumped into Sam in the hallway, giggling, feeling triumphant in her prod to push Edrin to the edge. Their mom was in her usual self, smirked, with ‘I-am-ready-whenever-you-are’ conduct, lounged in the single-seater, clenching on her purse, timed her move off the seat. She then switched off the little indoor fountain, latched the sliding door and for a second or two gave an admiring look at the curtain of her choice for Hari Raya last year. While I, was at the rock garden leading to the grilled door with the shoelaces already tied up, adjusting my favorite black Levi’s cap, car keys in hand, smiling – amused with the play staged by them.

Edrin had his goggles missing during the last bashing at the river. We stopped over at 7-11 for a new pair. Since not much of choices available, I told Edrin to go without it this time around and promised him a better pair to be bought in SACC Mall, Shah Alam.

So there we were at the club, greeted by an Indian guy, a familiar face in charge of the security around the swimming pool. I am confused whether he is a security guard or life guard. Whatever it is, he’s always there for the club and around the pool. Anyway… You know what? It was 1st of May, Labor Day. Public holiday. The pool was closed.

Phewww! You can imagine the kind of look Edrin had posed.

So then we went to the Equestrian Club instead, right down the slope across the street from the Club House – watching horses in the stables. At least Edrin’s frustration for not being able to swim was compensated a little when he had fun patting and stroking the horses and commenting on the stained teeth of the horses. And I personally started to like what I was seeing up close, amazed with the sturdy build up of a horse. I never had ridden a horse before despite of having all the opportunities when I was abroad. My interest in it perhaps was drowned by my other interest in motor vehicles. I bet it is far different from riding on the back of a bull when I was a young boy for the bull that I hopped on turned nasty, threw me off ugly to the ground that made me think twice to ride on it again.

What so good about the Equestrian Club in our place? It is a place of choice for the King of The Country, YDP Agong for the horseback riding. In any weekend, if our secluded and quiet neighborhood is then busy with motorcade of police patrol cars and motorbikes, or the horses were seen being hauled into the area in the DBKL wagon truck the day before, it is a clear sign that The YDP Agong will be there for the ride.

I told my kids of my intention to buy a horse and rent out a stable there. At least it would liven up a chance for me to brush shoulders with the King. Sam looked skeptical and slightly raised one side of his eyebrows. No chronicle of words from him though. He was more interested to be out of the place fast, grumbling, it was blistering to still have the full-bodied swimwear worn inside. My wife knew it all too well and just sports a smile. Edrin took my words copiously, got his eyes popped out and his jaw dropped.

“Whoaaa…. Best tu Bahhh….!”

But Fara had shrewdly read my tone of voice and all too soon she replied over;

“Ya la tu Bahhh….” with an easily understood rhythm she used, to suggest the other way round.

And Edrin realized it was not true. His words then blended in the snigger.

“Ekk Elehhh…Ingatkan betul-betul le tadi…!”

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To Educate is to be Educated.

In his tender age, he was sent to Singapore to study. It is not out of the ordinary if it happens today but when it was back in late 1950’s, it is something. What more when it was in a traditional kampong and the folks were generally not having awareness in the importance of educations due to not being educated themselves. But, that is what happened to my uncle when my grandpa decided to send him there, and until now he has made Singapore a place for him to reside, happily with his kids that now already bring joy to him with presence of the grandchildren. He is in Woodlands.

Singapore is not a strange place to me. I grew up not having an attitude to differentiate between Malaysia and Singapore unlike what generally is now in the minds of younger generations. May be when I was small, I knew my uncle was there and thought it was just another place out of the area we were staying in. The blame goes to the politicians (on both sides) to have us separated in early 60’s as two different nations. It worsens with the political agendas come to play in 80’s and 90’s and to this day, that seemingly put the sharing of history and cultures remotely and thus out of place.

I digress.

Ustaz Luqman retired as a school teacher years ago. His last posting was at a boarding school somewhere in the East Coast of the peninsular. He too has a lot of stories to tell about his younger days. He was sent to Indonesia to study. Ustaz Luqman is later known to me as an uncle too when I marry his niece – my wife now. The irony is he went over to Indonesia together with Abang Lazim, my mom’s cousin that also now retired after serving in the Engineering Ground Support Department with Malaysia Airline System – MAS. Until today, his Indonesian wife is still heavily accented with her Java tongue – I know, that’s beside the point.

Considering the poor living state those years in the rural area where they lacked in facilities and opportunities, in my adulthood, the admiration grew in me for what the old folks had done to educate their children. They looked for ways not to have their children deprived from educations. It was not an outlandish thing during my childhood when I heard people had their grown up children study abroad. The popular destinations back then were Egypt and Saudi Arabia, while India was a place of choice too. They worked hard to support their children’s studies though they were literally lived a hard living with merely make ends meet. The word scholarship is only recent.

Started from my time onward, we can be considered lucky. We have a very good education system in the country. I can say it loud and clear because I am the product of the system. Well not too good, but not that bad either. To the very least I can feel that I am contributing my small part to the nation. No doubt the ideal formula for the whole education system is yet to mature relative to what have been achieved in the developed countries like USA and UK, but in many aspects we are not far behind if not better in certain areas. The biggest achievement is perhaps our end product is not a “kiasu”.

And, look at another angle. How many countries in the world give free educations until the age of 17? (Until the age of 19 in some cases) How many countries in the world spend big chunks of their budgets in scholarships for their students for higher learning?

We are one.

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Kids Today

Thank God the URL to my blog is still valid. And I can still remember the password to my blogger page. Since my last entry, only today I come check my blog, read comments trailed by readers.

Thank you guys! And thanks to the ones who have left no traces too.

I am prone to write long stories because telling stories are always the acme of my purpose. But this time around, I try to be short and sweet.

I have been dealing a lot with the educationists lately and quite naturally this entry has got something to do with children and education then. Well, it tickles my mind over the youngsters of today. The way the education has made them. As far as what learning and knowledge is all about, it comes in abundance. They can be easily tapped through various resources the technology can offer. They are well-informed and smarter in many ways.

But, I personally see something lacking in our future leaders when it comes to moral and ethics. We were just a havoc like them too when we were young but I remember there were still boundaries we observed.

I am from the old school where teachers were dedicated to make us humans and we kids looked up on them. Whilst today, teachers are perhaps treated by our youngsters just like facilitators if not dissidents.

It’s not fair to say teachers today are of a lesser quality as they are now better educated and equipped as compared to the teachers those days. And it’s not substantiated well statistically either when we can see many achievements in moral values in the country are realized by the brains of later and new generations through a well-structured approaches. Neither technology can be blamed for creating a new landscape of mentality since technology is only a tool to help achieve the educational objectives.

So then, what is?

Albert Einstein said,

“Not everything that counts, can be counted and not everything that can be counted, counts”

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Juggling Between Our Needs and Wants

On Monday, Apr 16, I will be attending a conference at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. It will last for 4 days until Thursday. On Friday, again I won’t be able to have my free time in office. By the look of it, for the whole week next week I will be away from internet and my intention to catch up with blogging community will be at bay.

While thinking about the schedule that gets tighter week after week, for a moment it came flashing in my mind with questions like, what exactly am I running after in this life? Am I not having enough with what I have right now? Am I in the right course in selecting priorities for my day-to-day life? What about for the life as a whole? Am I that grateful with all that God has destined for me? Do I pay back enough for what God has given me in a form of my ibadat?

At once the thought of Marslow Theory I used to learn some decades ago also came playing in my mind. I am particularly interested in the bottom most needs for humans – physiological needs – as simple as needs to eat to continue living.

Marslow Theory or not, the words from my religious guru rings in my head until I almost see in the manner it was spoken. Of course it was in Malay language and it literally means, “We are sent by God to live life on earth nothing other than to submit to Him in total. But God has encased us in a physical body. Physical body needs food to survive. Hence, the food that gives the livelihood to the physical body is just merely to enable us to submit to Him”.

On the same note, imagine if we were to be created without the need of foods. We can remain idle just like a box in a store room for decades and yet still alive. Don’t talk about using toilets since you have nothing to purge. We can just enjoy looking at the sky witnessing the changes of the day and night for months if we wish. We can just remain sleeping for years. Why should we bother to trouble ourselves with all those earthly things when we could even survive without moving a finger? One thing certain, there will never be any progress takes place for mankind.

The irony is, being humans; nothing will ever satisfy us because we are created to be such. While drowning in a swimming pool, it is absurd if you are thinking of having a big bungalow and a luxury car, instead of screaming out for help for you to be able to breath. Once breathing is taken for granted, our stomach is constantly demanding to be replenished. Starving person never wants to see a menu to order his food, anything will do. But once the food is regularly delivered until we don’t have to think much of it, don’t you think it’s time to consider where to put up a night? Where the place is provides better shade from the sunlight, better protection from the rain? Having all those, so then you’d say, “Hey, I am human too; I think I am in love…”

Well, well, well, I tell you what, it goes on and on until we don’t know where is the point for us to stop. As a matter of fact, on the other hand, stopping or not is out of question here. The only concern is whether we understand or not what grateful is all about – at any point of life while having what we have or wanting what we don't have. The answer will only be unveiled if we can really understand the deeper meaning of “grateful”, far beyond the meaning of the word can offer.

Let's pray to God for the verse below to inspire us upon something:

Al-A'raf (The Heights)

وَلَقَدْ مَكَّنَّاكُمْ فِي الأَرْضِ وَجَعَلْنَا لَكُمْ فِيهَا مَعَايِشَ قَلِيلاً مَّا تَشْكُرُونَ
(7:10)

YEA, INDEED, [O men,] We have given you a [bountiful] place on earth, and appointed thereon means of livelihood for you: [yet] how seldom are you grateful!

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Adrenaline Rush

It must be due to age. The more numbers you add to your age, the more careful you are in doing things. Getting wiser is a good explanation to it or rather can serve as the best excuse for the deterioration in your physiological capacity and physical ability – that unknowingly make you live in the state of denial.

If I was born into the Ringling Brothers family, the world’s renowned circus entity, chances are I would have been either a trapeze, flying like a Superman under a big tent or a tightrope walker, balancing on the high-wire, and less likely for me to head the Clown Department though. If I was born into a stunt family of the Leavitts, more likely I would be a stunt man for a movie in Hollywood, with me behind the wheel pressing the gas pedal down to the floor and more than delighted to flip the car, tossed into the air before it comes down crashing and burst into a ball of fire. And if I was born as a son of the late Alton Senna, the legendary F1 driver who had died in a crash, it requires no stretch of imagination to see me as Alton Senna Jr now.

But, on the other hand, I don’t know what I would be if I was in the family of the Snake King, Ali Khan Samsuddin who died of a cobra bite late last year – for I found it treacherous and bloodcurdling – spine-chilling to deal with a serpent. I might then be in contentment as a Carpenter-in-Chief, in command to make boxes for snakes, instead.

Granny knew it all too well when it comes to how bold, intrepid and daring I was when I was a little boy that always left her nerve-wrecked. I couldn’t comprehend why people were hysterical seeing me on the tree top for I was not scared of height. I would even be in airborne leaping from one branch to another like a monkey, at the dizzying height of 3, 4-storey building of a tree with nothing less than fun to me.

Alas, fun or not, that damn branch of the pokok bacang was not in my favor in that afternoon. It snapped when my hands were just inches away to grab hold on another branch that brought me down to the ground to some 20-something feet below. And thus, it was as good as all joints on the right hand side of my body except for the knee, were dislocated. The pain was so unbearable that put me drifted in and out of consciousness. The hardest hit was on the pelvic joint. I tell you, it’s not a good idea for you to dislocate this major ball-and-socket joint. It’s killing you. Don’t try this at home!

Did it stop me from coming back dissipating my energies on more perilous acts after the incident? Well, the word quit or repent was not in my dictionary. I was still full of zip as before, perhaps with better skills.

Telling a wounded but brave warrior to stop fighting a battle and turn effeminate is just like telling a succulent lady with passion for stitchworks to stop stitching after a needle pricks into her finger. They are not deterred.

Likewise for me, it lives on – the trait lingered. Perhaps the zest was only channeled into something else. In no doubt I would be foolish to still meddle around with trees when I got older.

“No hands…! No hands…!” as I tried to conjure up with hands off the handle of the bike. I fell off the crude wooden bridge without guard rail spanning across the swampy waterway. Not too bad to be drenched in the swamp below as the mud had cushioned up my fall but the bike fell off later right onto my head is a different story. Mind you, it was not BMX or Chopper, you know. It was Raleigh. Raleigh was like Harley Davidson for motorbikes, damn bloody big and heavy, strong enough to carry a pregnant cow. Anyway, this incident with some cuts and bruises can still be downplayed and not fit to be blown up in my resume since I have a few major motor vehicle accidents in my late teen and early 20’s.

You can imagine when I started to mess around with motor vehicles – motorbikes and cars after a measure off from bicycles. I had one ugly incident with motorbike as well. But I think this one deserves an entry of its own since I do have a long story to tell about the “tragedy”. In short, since the risk-taking attribute was still streaming in the bloodline, I did many “ridiculous” things in the name of fun – enjoying a kick from the rush of adrenaline.

This is the hardest. It was a head-on collision between my Ford Mustang and a Chevy. It brought me to the Intensive Care Unit which I was practically in the threshold of death. I had to go through surgery due to the massive internal injuries; fortunately my head remained intact. It could be fatal if the medical team did not act fast. Lucky I still live to blog this up. Lucky I did not make news in the media back then in the home country. Perhaps it would if my dead body were then flown back to Malaysia. The centipede-like of an 8-inch permanent scar on my belly serves as a very good reminder and it will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Well, due to age that along the way has taught me lessons together with the tapestry that decorated on my leaves of experiences, I am becoming more careful by the day in doing things with only well-calculated risk taking involved.

Whether of you are a risk taker or not, I think all of us can see within ourselves the changes that have taken places from one phase of our lives to another. We are somewhat more cautious today than 10 years ago in any actions we are taking; be it in conversations, in dealing with people, in making decisions regardless of personal, professional or family matters, perhaps in every area of life. It is essentially reflects the wisdom we are acquiring as we waved goodbye to the years passed.

As for me personally, risky moves, shoddy if you like, were long gone but not until I paid those with heavy prices. The basic trait of a risk-taker is somehow still in me but the question is how is it being channeled to suit the phase of life I am in. Doing what I am doing now, like it or not, risk taking requires a big chunk of it. To certain extent, it becomes pre-requisite to see through things effectively.

The rule of the thumb says, the higher the risk taken, the bigger the reward will be. And at the same time, the higher you go up, the higher the stakes will be and if you were to fall, the harder the impact will be.

In whatever things I am doing now, I pray to God that I don’t have to absorb the impact like the way I absorbed when I fell off from the tree in my childhood days. Or the kind of blow I received upon hitting on the oncoming car.

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Why Blog?

The picture above is a map of the blogosphere from Matthew Hurst's fascinating Data Mining blog. Here's Matthew's description of the above image:

The dark edges show the reciprocal links (where A has cited B and B has cited A), the lighter edges indicate a-reciprocal links. The larger, denser area of the graph is that part of the blogosphere generally characterised by socio-political discussion (the periphery contains some topical groupings). Above and to the left is that area of the blogosphere concerned with technical discussion and gadgetry.

Funny thing about blogging is there’s a sense of guilt in you when you are not being able to update your blog. You’d feel like disappointing your regular visitors. Similarly, you don’t feel good either for not replying to the comments left by readers. And even to the point that you’d feel it’s not fair for not making reciprocal visits to their blogs. Is it me or I really am sharing the same feeling like other bloggers here? Or is it in any way it suggests me as a concerned blogger that care about the community? hehehe

Lately I really don’t have time to do those. I even had on mind to write something stupid for the “April fool” but I had my hands full. Since I had to miss the date, I have to forget about the idea then.

I involved in networking very heavily in the past weeks. I had to be in the circle of technopreneurs with one meeting after another, from one casual drink to the next. My sense of time has gone haywire when my lunch was at 3:21 pm while I’ve just had my breakfast at 12:58 pm and a couple of dinners past the working hours or may be feeling very hungry once reaching home. Since throughout the day I was on sugar-high, countless of teh tarik and Nescafe were left cold on the tables; perhaps it adds volume to it with the saliva splattered while talking. It then entails “Ais kosong satu!” as a common echo heard in the next meet-ups.

The spectrum of places were like from the nice and soothing voices of the waitresses taking orders at 5-Star hotels to the shouts of a mamak for orders that left ringing in the ears. The deliveries were like from well-controlled deep “intellectual” voice to match up the ambience and the surroundings until almost yelling as to counter the revs from the motorbikes nearby.

Of all the meetings and casual talks we had in the past weeks, there we had to draw off our precious Sunday afternoon for a small meeting with our associate – an associate by the name of Dzof – acting as a consultant for the technical side of our operations. This gentleman can be considered as the lifeline of our organization. Much of the spin-offs in our directions which later we call it as brainchild are originated from him.

Being him as an Oxford-trained mathematician, I can tell that he is very resourceful. And not too much if I label him as a genius. Anyway, during our break at the mamak shop last two Sundays, there was one topic derailed from the main topic we were discussing – about the corruptions in our country. Perhaps the topic took longer than our actual meeting did. Since he is also a columnist on a fortnightly basis with the Star newspaper, it as well inspired him to write about the topic. See here. I am not too sure whether the big story of it had to go through censor board, deemed not fit for print or he chose not to write it in the first place.

And back to not having time to actively blog, I think next time around it’s a good idea if I just link to some write-ups by my personal friends over the net or may be copy & paste on some interesting topics.

But… on second thought… Naahhh…! I may not be prolific but I have a hunch that people would prefer to read something original. If not, why blog?

Well, maybe to write once a week is no big deal to me but to go knock on the doors of other bloggers with bouquets of flowers in hand, it’s kind of hard to do now.

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De Motu Animalium

One of the things we may have taken for granted in our day-to-day lives is the way we move. The way we utilize our bodily functions for specific tasks. The way we use our hands and feet – the way we make gestures, the way we walk. To certain extent, we may be able to recognize someone of whom is dearly to us walking in the distance or moving in the silhouette. It is somehow a signature of each person through the way he or she moves.

If we were to go a little scientific over the fact, it is very much due to our motor skills, a skill that requires us to utilize our skeletal muscles effectively. Motor skills and motor control depend upon the proper functioning of the brain, skeleton, joints, and nervous system. We may have perfected the skills for the biomechanics of it ever since we first learned in our early childhood. The biomechanics of it was first explained in Aristotle’s book of De Motu Animalium, written some yonks ago, of which he detailed out in the application and derivation of engineering principles to and from biological systems. It further explains the pursuance of physiological difference between imagining performing an action and actually doing it.

In our layman understanding, anything less than perfect in the communique and coordination between the brain, skeletal, joints and nervous system, it will result a clownish and blunderous moves in a person – clumsy that is. And, clumsy persons can sometimes be a subject of ridicule as much as hilarity.

If there is an award for clumsy people, I would nominate my 28-year old nephew, the first-born of my eldest sister, to be a contender. He has got all what it takes to be the clumsiest person on earth. His day is not complete if he did not spill any drinks at the eatery, breaking cups and glasses, twitching forks and spoons sprung across the table, even hurdled to the next customers’ tables, bumping into things or fumbling around, to say the least.

As much annoying as it is hilarious, in many occasions we became the center of attraction at the restaurant when the sound of glass breaks or sudden moves of our chairs avoiding the spilled drinks cascading onto our thighs.

When it happens, I would have hard time to either remain in my straight face or to be round the bend or to laugh. It is not a laughing matter but knowing him, it has been much anticipated thing to occur and even to the point the way he fashions the look on his face the time it happens, it would tickle you. I can bet, even you couldn’t hold your laugh if you were in my place.

At one time, after much struggling for him to keep the glass on the table after spilling his Teh-O-Ais, the glass unfortunately, shattered on the floor. He looked unnerved in his panic to keep the glass from falling off. That alone was enough to tickle you. I wanted to keep straight face. And I did. But, on impulse, he stood right up and in his loud voice perhaps camouflaging his embarrassment, he addressed the owner, “Berapa kena bayar gelas pecah ni?” (How much do I have to pay for the glass?”) It was so timely that it snickered, tickled your funny bones. Lucky I was not gulping the drink at that time, if not, I would have spurted the drinks through the nose. And so then I joined the patrons in another 4, 5 tables to burst in chorus.

He and his epicure wife are very enterprising. During the fasting month, he would lease out a stall selling gourmets and delicacies for buka puasa at Bazaar Ramadhan. It was more of moral support than actually a customer when I visited their stall on that evening. More often than not I’d get it free anyway. Well, it befuddled me when the stall was closed on that evening. I called his mobile when his wife answered and told me the whole freight for a day selling was tipped-off down the tarmac the time when they were setting up for business earlier. Walla wei! No wonder some traces of the mess were still there. It didn’t surprise me but it left me in stitches.

There was one time we were the guests in the house of a respected lady over in Seremban, together with a few others in a group. He was already displaying his true self upon entering the house. Taking off his shoes, he kicked the shoe off his right foot much too vigorous that the shoe flew at random. It was just a matter of inches off-target for the shoe to actually fly into the living room when it hit the wall. That was fine still, since the house owner did not realize it.

We were then ushered for a drink to a table with the glass top in her dining area close to the living room from where we were seated. Orange juice was on the menu that day and they were served in the glasses that placed on the saucers. You know, you had better be careful when picking up the glass with cold drink from the saucer because the saucer may stick to the glass.

Being him, he just picked the glass up without realizing the saucer clinging at the bottom. At the height of slightly more than a foot off the table, the saucer then gave way. It smashed on the glass table top. Of course the glass table top was not easily broken but the saucer was somewhat smashed into pieces. Man! The rest of us had a share of embarrassment but we detracted it off while passing some light jokes for cover.

He was then shifting to another corner of the table while the lady started sponging and cleaning the muddle. He squeezed himself between the chair and the wall and without proper admonition, he screamed out, “Aduhhh…Aduhhh…”

Everyone was astounded, afraid that he could have had stepped on the piece of the broken glass.

He was then leaping with a single leg to a stool close to the kitchen area. He sat on the stool, put his foot up and an object could be seen stuck in it. At closer look, it happened to be a Y-Shape structure of an upper torso of a fish bone. It must have belonged to a big fish considering the size of the bone itself. This time around, we couldn’t hold our laugh anymore. It was actually an accident more than clumsiness and it was not funny for stepping on the fish bone for it could've had happened to anyone since it was lying there on the floor.

What tickled us? It tickled when it was not anyone else but him, that lived up well to his attribute if not to his idiosyncrasy.

The question is, why him? Why? I could’ve had stepped on it and so could others. It only served as the reassurance on his clumsiness even God has played a practical joke on him with the twist of fate not to be in his favor. Or perhaps his bad vibes has invited and intensified the negative forces around him.






GAB: Are you as clumsy as my nephew? Bet you’re not.

Yes, He Crossed the Finish Line First

Courtesy: Berlingo

It was past midnight. Sam and Edrin were deep asleep in their bed. It was a double bed they were sharing. Months ago we decided to remove their single beds and replaced it with one queen-sized bed to share. Hence, it has been for the reason Edrin refused to sleep alone and left his bed disused all those while. I did try to get him to sleep in his own bed but later found, he kept tossing and turning with the eyes wide open in the dim of the light as to suggest his insecurity to slumber off by himself – he needs his big brother Sam to tag with.

With then a single-sized bed to be shared by the two, it looked jam-packed due to not enough space to support their boisterous moves while sleeping. I witnessed many times they would pitch, topple and tumble each other in their sleep. Every so often Edrin’s foot would be right on Sam’s nose or Sam’s heavy arm would overlay Edrin’s face. At times I’d hear their latent yet strident bawls in the middle of the night skirmishing for space. Occasionally Edrin would curl at the perimeter of the bed, cornered by Sam, confined to a little space while the rest of the bed was left wide and ample. And they might drool on each other.

I was standing at their bedroom door with lights from the family hall bright enough to see them sleeping with the bolster in the middle separated them. At that very moment, the medals hanging next to the bed brought me to the Sports Day in school a few weeks back. It had been a whimsical event for Edrin when he collected gold medals for his 100-meter and 200-meter runs and silver medal for his 4 x 100-meter in Std-4 category.

He was then whining over poor run by the comrade in second leg that made them resorted to silver medal in the 4 x 100m-relay. I remember, I quickly told him it was okay and better off not to reprimand or rather censure on others. I told him, as far as I was concerned he was indisputably a lucid champ for his age group. I teased him; he could even beat the hell out of the guys in Std 6. Consoled, with all smiles, he swiftly told me how he acted after crossing the finish line. He said he was like an athlete seen on TV with a single knee on the turf bowing down catching his breathes while the crowd especially Blue House kids were still in frenzy. And I remember I was perhaps happier than him seeing his pride soars due to his feat.

At another bedroom door in a different house long ago when Edrin was only a year-and-a-half or two, also standing, and just came back from overseas – luggage still in hand. First look at the cute little baby next to his mom sleeping had brought mixed feelings in me. Without precedent, my fatherly instinct was shrouded with some guilty conscious when I thought he grew up so fast in my absence. If I really had to be away for too long and not seeing him for months or a year, it perhaps provide good reason for spotting the difference but it was only a week before.

But then I realized. I was busy going places, complying with my work schedule. I didn’t really spend quality time with him unlike with Fara and Sam when they were babies.

He’d still be sleeping the time I left home before I had to catch my flight departing somewhere. And most of the times when I came back he’d already be asleep. In a hectic season, as good as early in the morning the next day after my arrival, I had to drag my feet back to the airport or hit the highway heading somewhere, north, south, all directions. If not, the work demands in office were just as heavy. I never had driven back home with the sun still in the sky.

Dropped my luggage, I went kneeling down on the floor close to the edge of the bed. I stroked Edrin’s face, hair, arms, hands, fingers and what not. Caressed and cuddled! Kissed! And kissed! Again! And again! And shoo-shoo when he showed sign of waking up. And Anak-ku pacifier came for the rescue.

I shouldn’t have had shed tears and I never wanted to, but that tiny little feeling in me kept developing and multiplying until it finally besieged – overwhelmed. I choked! I couldn’t help but weeping – tears were coming out fast, running down my cheeks. I had missed some beautiful moments seeing him growing up before my eyes. I felt like I was busy for nothing. Yeah, very true, it was all for the betterment of life as a whole that arithmetically would in turn provide happiness I was yearning for. And yet the readily happy thing right under my nose seemed to be overlooked and not well appreciated.

I let my feeling loose while I had all the time with myself – sobbing. It was an emotional moment – very personal – me and my own feeling – in the still of the night.

Up till this day I don’t know whether my wife was awake or not when I was entertaining my thoughts, feelings and emotions that night. Perhaps she wanted me to let it all out without any intrusion. I only woke her up after wiping out my tears. And I was contented to just ask about Edrin’s latest development.






GAB: Your children are babies only once in their lifetime.

It Is A Precarious Life, But He Showed Me Otherwise

In this precarious livelihood we have, one has to be certain on the next move as not to jeopardize the main objective one is eyeing on, be it in personal or professional life. It becomes especially perceptible when it deals with business as concerned.

Recently we have to revise back our exertions on the prototype of an educational portal. We had on mind the portal would be revolutionary in our education environment in Malaysia and the Ministry of Education was the right place to bump into. We did our homework. We traveled every nook and corner of the precincts. We met all the geeks and nerds. We endured vehement speeches by the smart ones. And not short of being cuffed by the upper hands. We even know which parking lot would provide better shades for our cars at certain hours of the day. Even which building holds cafeteria with a good food for our breaks. And I personally know which receptionists and secretaries are the sexiest.

But, it’s a jungle out there over in Putrajaya.

Initially we thought it would be worthwhile reconnoitering through with the Ministry of Education since we were dealing with the prototype meant for education. But then, there we had it, too thick a wall of a fortress for a credulous to break into. On my bad day, it almost made me think that merit comes last in this part of the hemisphere. Some people may jump right off but I am not that type. I prefer to look hard on our inadequacy and shortcoming rather than fingers do the pointing first. We may have all the ingredients but the way it’s been mixed, may not be to their taste.

It is precarious indeed.

And due to this precarious life, it exemplifies a good move when a faraway Malaysian friend, Idham, has made an unprecedented decision to come back to Kuala Lumpur on last Thursday. He was here for purpose. Lest he wants to make it private, I choose not to write it down specifically on his “investment” thing here but I can see this gentleman has clear objectives in his action. He knows what’s down the road in 10, 20 years to come when he left the country last 2 nights leaving all the documents signed.

I was so pleased he called me when he was on his way to KLIA and at the same time made me feel bad for I had to be in Cyberjaya the whole day attending meetings with MDeC officers and Academia-Industry Dialogue with the Minister of Higher Education at Cyberview Lodge Resort. In fact I had just reached home when Idham called to say goodbye.

Well I don’t feel that bad either. On the day he touched down, arrived, I made a point to see him slightly an hour after he took the train from the airport and spent my time with him in the afternoon (together with Shirley).

I always love to be in the company of people who eloquently demonstrate their spatial-temporal reasoning as much as their excellent overall dexterity. This gentleman fits the bill. And it gave good reason why Idham is at the place where he is at now. When I sat there for our lunch at the cafeteria on the upper deck of the skyscraper overlooking the breathtaking view of the city of Kuala Lumpur, I could actually feel Idham’s spirit was as high as the building itself and beyond.

The energy that vibrates in him made me feel that, life is not that precarious after all. We have to be larger than life.

And it’s all in our minds.






GAB: If you mix around with successful people, it can be a catalyst for you to be on the road to success.

Mr Idham, Pn Azie and Shirley

Crab & Goldfish Tale: A Brawny Claw & A Protuberant Cutie

Having a birth date on July 15, it falls within the dates of constellation known as Cancer. What’s written in the book of horoscope, one of the traits in Cancerian people is that when they grab hold on something, they would clutch onto it unremittingly even to the extent of loosing their claws if they have to, as of for crabs – the sign used for Cancer zodiac. I may be am the least person to take what horoscope says earnestly, but it evokes some kind of fun when some characters come about to be dearly to what I am hauling.

Once the focal point is laid down over something, I have the ability to detach myself totally from almost anything. And I can be most loyal to my own thoughts and ideas. I can be most-disciplined to the rules I set for myself. That is what happened in the past few days when I had to focus on whacking the bugs in our operations with relentless meetings and discussions with my partners and associates.

In that past few days it exemplifies a fraction of the epitomic on what it says for the Cancerians. I was in fact not on the road living out of briefcase, neither I had no access to the internet nor would it has been too time consuming to at least open up my own blog or surf through the net. I had all the time to do that. But, I made it clear to myself to be single-track minded as not to touch the gratuitous things that’d probably win over my concentrations – not even checking my personal e-mails except the corporate e-mail that I have to deal with everyday. Perhaps by now you get the idea why I keep my working desk clean and empty all the time.

(Psstt… I actually missed you guys!)

Yeah, true, that doesn’t live up much to what loosing-the-claw dare is as mentioned above but what has transpired in the meeting room, Gosh, may be I choose not to elaborate it here but I can assure you, it lives up to that trait very, very well.

Not a familiar sight of me when I slouched on the sofa in my office with the lights dimmed out in the afternoon yesterday. It had been some grueling days with my partners and associates. Just like a sprinter crossing the finish line in his 100-meter dash amidst the deafening wild cheers of the spectators – he has a lot more stories to tell far off from his only 10 seconds of show. And my idea of collapsing myself in an awestruck expression motionless for 10 minutes or so was an illustration of relief when it was all over.

Hey, I even had my way of small celebration with myself to signify my relief and satisfaction with what we have achieved throughout. I went over to Jalan Pasar in Pudu, walked around. I spent hours at the pet shops looking at the fish in the aquariums – mind you that not necessarily made me a new member of Pet Shop Boys in any ways.

Love to see those goldfish wriggling and squirming in an awkward swimming style – so cute. They look glitzy and flamboyant with the accessories and embroideries they are sporting. And their teeny-weenie mouths – alluring. Tapped on the glass, they dodged in haste. For a second it reminded me of the local artiste Adibah Nor. And it as well reminded me of a bunch of chubby schoolchildren that overdosed with KFC in their morning jog for Physical Exercise in school. I smiled. Well, on personal basis, it has been very calming and relaxing to me. Voilà! The fireworks for my little celebration was like having my teh halia for a change at the mamak shop close to Edinburg round-about before I came back to office.

A Gantt Chart of some twenty A3-sized papers was waiting for me to see it through before wrapping up the 1st quarter of the year. The impelling cause in its mainspring is; I being made captain of the ship am looking forward to smooth sailing whilst the Godfather would later love to see the ledger as spotless as it is portly.




GAB: You go watch goldfish. They are nicer than majority of people that you know. Or you go break some claws of steamed crabs. Then you tell me.

IN HIATUS