The Moment When the Mind of Your Child Is Read
(Click on the pic)
I doubt if there is more fascinating sentiment than the feeling of self-worthiness when what’s behind the mind of your child is expressed out in his or her writing. A small thing that looks big to me.
Fara, my daughter of 15 years had the short essay written for her English class. In her words – below is the easy-to-read excerpt from the scanned copy above:
Person I Admire
My life is as perfect as it can be for the past fifteen years of my life. My parents have taken a good care of me.
My father is not from a rich family. He comes from a poor family in the Eastcoast of Malaysia. His life when he was a boy was far behind as compared to the life I am having now. He worked hard in his studies until he made to the University in overseas. He wanted to help his family to attain better life.
Due to his hardwork, he is now a successful person. He is a Managing Director of an IT company. He is also good and kind father. He teach me what life is all about. He once said that life is not easy. We have to struggle in life.
He is also give support and advice to me. He wants his children to be the successful person just like him. He always said to me to study hard.
I admire his hardwork till he becomes a successful person. I hope I will be the successful person like my father. I love my father so much!
- Fara Liyana
May be it’s a little overstated about her father especially when she sees me as a successful person that may give the impression to readers as being flush and leading a well-heeled life. Actually, the reality of my life provides an insight into shadowy world far removed from what I am in office or in the inadvertent tango, foxtrot and salsa of my words for blog entry.
Suffice to say, I’m leading a simple life, far cry from glossy-finish as it may be seemed. It could be due to not having the substance to gleam with, but I pray hard to God that I’d be the same person if one day I turn billionaire. Hence, I want to be easy in life as I wish for God to be easy on me in the hereafter.
Well, I don’t blame Fara for seeing what she sees. Successful can be construed in variety of ways. Just like any fathers out there or any parents for that matter, I never showed the downside of me to the kids. Being a father of this world age, I try my best to give an imminent of life as practical as it can be. I try to shift away from the stigma rooted among our forefathers in their advice to their offspring as in the likes of not-to-be-like-me or to-be-better-than-me thingy. Without having to divulge, by way of what the children can see and feel, it can give clear target for them on the yardstick to dart at, and to transcend is only a bonus.
I am beaming with pride in clandestine when she got the message well in understanding life as a tough thing; to struggle is a vital part of it. It makes me feel like my love and care as a father has taken into some degree of achievement, not just mere indulgence as to reinstate what I didn’t get when I was little.
I may be ahead of some of you readers here for already having a teenage daughter while you are still busy changing their diapers and enjoying the very first word of “mama” or “papa” from your babies – or may be watching with pride they take the first giant step to walk, and fumble, and fall, and cry, and a hush in the comfort of your embrace, and try again with your guidance and assurance. Or may be I am a bit behind when some of you are now already missing your grown up kids in college and enjoying calls from them asking about your well-being.
But trust me, whatever age your kids are now at; they are the reflections of us as parents.
30 comments:
A well written essay and very true too a well describe of a father from the child's eye.Parents make great impact to the children's bringing up and what can I say happy for you and keep it up!
zuriat itu anugerah agung, harta paling berharga, permata jiwaraga yang tiada ternilai,maka beruntunglah mereka yang berjaya mencorakkan kanvas putih menjadi lakaran indah harmoni ~ sedap dipandang, cantik dipersembahkan, harganya tiada ternilaikan :)
so proud when child write about us!!....
there's nothing more rewarding than have a child; what more your own to look up to you as their idol and mentor...wow! i can see she writes well just like her dad
Congratulations to both of you, gab and fara !!
I teringat I nangis bila Bindi baca personal tribute to her late father Steve Irwin....that goes the same when I read fara's essay about you, gab...(except that you are still alive , tu yang buat I lagi terharu )
Hope Fara will never stop admires her Abah. Hope to hear a story on her graduation day, her first date & many more...:)
Gab, Congaratulations. She's really proud to have a father like u.
that is like soooooooooooooo sweetttttt..reflecting the wonderful relationship u have with ur daughter who no doubt loves u very much.. :0)
That is a thought...that our kids are the reflections of us. Big responsibilities they are.
i like the way your daughter wrote about you which reflect how you teach, care, advise her...proud of you....keep it up
Wow, like father like daughter. She appears to appreciate life as it is, she writes well too.
gab say :
"whatever age your kids are now at; they are the reflections of us as parents".
ermm sy dh mula perasan sesuatu tentang qaisara my baby....ehehhehe kekadang karektor nmpk cam umienyer, kekadang seperti sy sendiri.
moga sy boleh mengalas amanah dan tugas sebagai ayah... amin.
Hi Gab,
That is such a beautiful letter. Kids are definitely our own reflections.
I believe in sharing the good the bad and the ugly with them once I feel they can understand as this will give them balance and realism.
I have only boys and yet they are so comfortable doing some girly-stuff with me as I have liberated them from being a stereotype. They learned from their dad that a man is not a man by just being macho. A man is a man by being kind and sensitive and understanding.
That is probably what Fara too sees in you in her sweet note that you shared with us.
sweetnya.. especially when your kids look up to you that high.
she admires your determination. so am i :)
psst i dah buat meme tag tuh.. check it out!
sweet lucky fara :-)
GAB :
Sometimes we often wondered how and what our kids look and saw in us as parents.
Your Fara has given a glimpse of that in her own way. Such sweet rendition of her admiration to her Dad.
On the other hand, it makes us ( I mean : me, especially) jittery if we have done enough, and the right thing for them.
God Bless.
Kak Elle --> Thank you for the kind words Kak Elle. It's a rule of the thumb I supposed, parents indeed make great impact to the children's bringing up.
IZARIZA --> Hey, what can I say, you've said it all there. Just echoing what you've said, it's all depends on the way we put the colors with our brushes in hand on that canvas. Thanks IZA.
BUNGA --> Every litle thing from our kids will of course make us proud. That reminds us also a grown up adults, every little thing we do for our parents will sure make them happier than we ever thought of.
RINA JORDAN --> It sinked me for a second with what you told. You have a very fine heart in seeing what love is all about RINA. I can tell, it's a clear feature of who you are in real life dealing with your loved ones. I am happy for you.
KOPI O --> If I were to blog for years to come, every now and then perhaps stories about my kids will be here. But, I am not too sure how long I'd be in the blogland.
Well, the most happiest is when you know your own children are proud of you, right?
SIMAH --> I found it sweeter when you said it was sweet. Thank you. I hope it will last until her adult years to have this kind of relationship, father-daughter thing.
KD --> O yeah, it is real big if we talk about the responsibilities loaded on our shoulders for bringing up children. Somehow, they may be educated by others in school but all the values for them to go on with life starts at home.
BERLINGO --> Thank you for having the thought that way, Sir. You make me feel happy and worthwhile to be a father and give a new spirit to make it better.
NJ --> It's fun telling the kids about big picture of life as a whole. I do believe, relentless stories, advice and what not will tease their minds to think.
TUN --> I have read many times about happy times as a father with your little Qaisara. And I always have fun reading them. And I know it too well you adore her so much. I've seen her first paitning as well. Sure she'll grow up well TUN.
Erkkk... Macam mana, jadi tak kerja kat Middle East?
RUBY --> I think I have certain set of impression in me already over the way you bring up your children. Am pretty sure you can be very creative over this kind of thing. I know.
I certainly agree with what you said, "I believe in sharing the good the bad and the ugly with them once I feel they can understand as this will give them balance and realism" Beautiful!
MOMMY ALIF --> It is such a pleasant feeling of course when your own daughter looks up on you that way MOMMY ALIF.
I read your weird things already. Fantastic... you have something that not everyday I can read about.
HELLI --> I hope her luck will be on her side all the way through in her life, with or without me around Helli. Thanks.
MAK ANDEH --> You are not bad yourself Mak Andeh. I am a regular reader about the Brood and You. I can assure you; you are heck of a mom yourself with even some limitations you are having but never look as handicap to you though. Perhaps, you have taken it to the highest of your advantage in loving your kids.
It's true that the kids definitely reflect what their parents are. However, I hope and pray that my kids will be better than the parents in all aspects of life.
I love it when i see children and parents showing their affection for each other.
I remember once when I saw my friend sitting on her father's lap, i was sooo jealous. We were 11 then.
Now, my girls are 17 and 15 and they're still sitting on their father's lap. He! He!
U have to keep that essay in a safe place so that u can show it to her again one day.
Came earlier..i.e. last nite to read, but too slow to leave a comment. Saw yr comment in mine, so came back here again.
What I want to say was..yr daughter's writing abt you is so lovely. She is very lucky to have you as one of her role model in life to be successful.
You are in IT industry? My other half is also but not as MD. For a while I never understand the mind and behaviour of IT people especially those (as my other half) with education in computer science and mathematic. I am not sure what yr background is. After some time I get used to it though and able to understand the challenge in this industry. Ermm... wonder if I am making sense?
You ask me earlier whereabout I am in my career. Now Siti kata "tak payah berahsia"....heheh. I am a researcher in oil & gas industry where I make my living.
I enjoy reading yr story. Keep sharing whenever you got a chance. Very inspiring!
Bertuahnya Fara mempunyai ayah seperti Gab dan begitu juga sebaliknya...Gab bertuah mempunyai anak yang menjadikan ayahnya sebagai role model.
Anak2 kak lady yang sulong & yang kedua...tidak berapa rapat dengan ayah mereka...kerana...ketika kecil...ayah mereka jarang dpt berdamping dengan mereka kerana sibuk belajar & mencari rezeki untuk menampung keluarganya...kerana ayah mereka adalah anak sulong dlm keluarga dan dia terpaksa menunaikan tanggungjawab yang telah ditinggalkan oleh arwah ayahnya.
Walau bagaimanapun kak lady tak pernah lupa untuk menceritakan dan mengingatkan pada mereka segala kesukaran yang ayah mereka lalui untuk mengecapi hidup kami sekarang....dan alhamdulillah...mereka memahaminya dan sentiasa hormat serta menjadikan segala usaha ayah mereka sebagai pembakar semangat...
You've hit the bullseye with your parting words - our kids are a reflection of us parents.
Children are so intuitive and observant when it comes to deciphering their parents' actions, behaviours, emotions, thought processes and anything in between. Therefore, it's imperative we parents set great examples to them.
It only dawned on me a few months after my first childbirth that raising a kid in this day and age, is no easy task. I'm basically 'moulding' another human being to be the best that she can be!
So it saddens me when some people, like irresponsible teenagers, chose the easy way-out by abandoning their babies near trash receptacles or public toilets!
Something precious like a baby should be cherished, nurtured and thankful for.
and thus thank yous and please..he he
children always look up at their parents in many ways
Gab,I am so touched reading a short but extremely sweet and meaningful essay.
All my girls (I have 3 - 15, 12 & 7) even though they get along very well with their dad but still comes to me for comfort and whats nots. My hubby do not have a good education background, but he is very hardworking. It is from me that the girls look for in everything. He also came from a family background where by "The man is a king " - which still runs in his other siblings' family but not US - you know why because this Queen simply cannot accept that. Thank God that he is more open minded and accept my way of parenting - much to the disapproval of his siblings at times! But hey..this is my kingdom, my family and my life!
May Allah always bless you and your family and I hope to learn more from you. Insyaallah.
you are so lucky to be having a teenage kid that appreciates you as her father.
most teenagers at her age would shy away from their parents..
ZAKI --> Of course we want them to be better than us. We somehow can serve as the yardstick as they may be at par with our achievements as a place to fall back at.
INTAN --> Now your kids have made it realized on what you were missing when you were a small girl and am sure you are happy to see that.
I keep every little thing for future refrences and/or something for them to reminisce.
ANGGERIK MERAH --> Ahah...your other half is in the IT. Well, to understand this type of people is relatively easy because they are technical minded. Anything that supports with logics and rationals then it makes sense to them. But don't forget humans are all do possess the same basic traits in feelings as well. Whether or not they want to to show it, it's up to the individuals.
Wow... you're the expert in oil & gas. That's something dear.
KAK LADY --> All sensible men are good fathers in their own right. No one can claim better than others. I am pretty sure the responsible husband like yours is just as good but rather unfortunate, time is not on his side. And I keep on questioning myself every now and then whether I am doing the right thing or not. I choose not to be engrossed with mistakes here and there, as all humans do. As far as I know when I have done my best, be it.
THETA --> Moulding another human is the word there. The ones in charge for the job definitely have to shoulder it.
I share the same feeling as you on the social ill in our society like throwing babies and such. It saddens.
LOLLIES --> JackJack will grow up admiring you as a mom Lollies.
It starts off well with his thank yous and please...
NORABELLA --> Hey, it makes people forget about the role of my wife in this entry since my daughter wrote about me. They are comfortable with the mom as much as with me. Two different kinds and yet the same intensity I supposed. On certain girly stuff of course the best place for her is always her mom.
And interesting when you note about the conventional parenting in our society, men will be the King of the house and holds veto power. I think due to the lifestyle of these days, due respect as a leader to the family still men but... I mean BUT, the concerted efforts in reaching the decisions still on both sides, husband and wife.
You did a good job there by reminding the kids on the good things about their father.
ATIZA --> I am always scared of the thought when my kids start to shy away from me. I cannot afford to take things for granted because I do beleive that as long as we do things right, the ties will still be closely knitted.
And my daughter loves her mom as much as she loves me if not more.
gab, i am late in reading this beautiful piece..but I am glad i am here. She is so proud of you and you deserve this piece and more.
Gab: YES, you're absolute right! Thank you.
Alhamdulillah, mana lah tumpahnya kuah kalau tidak ke nasi, kalau nak lentur buluh biarlah dari rebung.
I can sense the 'determination' in that young lady of yours, Gab. Wish her all the best!!
middle east, :)
insyAllah jika ada rezeki...
jika tak backup plan diampang akan diteruskan.
KAK TEH --> It's not too late for you t read but it's kind of late for me to reply. Thanks.
NORABELLA --> Glad we agree on some common things. Have a good life!
IBU --> I couldn't agree more with your "kalau nak lentur buluh biarlah dari rebung". After all we're trying our best for our kids, no doubts, there were some trial and error as well.
TUN --> InsyaAllah, ada le rezeki tu...
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