What Past Made Me
Every time I touch the keyboard with the entry for my blog on mind, my tendency is to write something of my past. I do not find it thrilling to write about what is now in my life. Whatever life I am having now, to me it’s the best life can be regardless of how bad the financial status I may be at, what kind of hardship I may be facing or what sort of worries spinning in my head.
All I know whatever suffering I may have now is nothing compared to what I’ve been through those years. And, whatever happiness I am having now doesn't erase my past history either. So to say my sad stories outnumbered the happy ones. But, they are all priceless. It doesn’t mean I am dwelling over the past; it somehow makes me feel good reflecting them back. To certain extent, it contributes to my gratefulness over life I am having now and it humbles me.
Yes, God is great. He knows what’s good for us. See HERE
Since I was not destined to grow up in the ideal family, under the shadow of a father figure and a mother to love and care, without me realizing it, I was always in a vacuum over something when I was little. It wasn’t a big deal during those tender years over the fact but it slowly started eating up on my emotions when I was a teenager.
But, I was tough (and still am). I am trained to be tough throughout my life. Physically, mentally and emotionally!
I never had complaint over poorly served food in the dining hall, neither did I complain on anything. Life has taught me to be happy with what’s in my hand and not to worry over things I never had, BUT, by no means to be complacent though.
During schooling years, some of my friends were feeling down when they were short by RM 20 to buy Adidas shoes but I on the other hand was hell of a happy boy with my Fung Keong canvas shoes.
I saw many parents attended the Parents-Teachers Day and they had big treats in the school cafeteria if not their parents brought them home cook food. And I was contented with our regular food served in the dining hall.
I saw how happy my friends were showing their parents around the school compound with their little brothers and sisters running around the turf with ice cream in hands, smeared over their cheeks.
I saw the way they part with their loved ones at the end of the day from the dormitory balcony as I had nothing to relate to my own personal experience.
I listened to them talking and bragging about promises by their parents with wonderful presents if they make good grades in the exams as I never had been trained to ask for anything.
Gosh, life is beautiful!
If God gives me a chance to have another life altogether, I’d still prefer the life I am having right from the Day 1 when I was born until now. If God allows me to be like any person I wish to be, I’d still choose to be me. That’s to show how much I cherish the life I am having. May be it was then, something was missing in my life but that something had becoming helpful in my later life. Had I not experienced all those trials and tribulations, I could’ve been hauling another set of attitude towards life altogether.
Glad to be me.
All I know whatever suffering I may have now is nothing compared to what I’ve been through those years. And, whatever happiness I am having now doesn't erase my past history either. So to say my sad stories outnumbered the happy ones. But, they are all priceless. It doesn’t mean I am dwelling over the past; it somehow makes me feel good reflecting them back. To certain extent, it contributes to my gratefulness over life I am having now and it humbles me.
Yes, God is great. He knows what’s good for us. See HERE
Since I was not destined to grow up in the ideal family, under the shadow of a father figure and a mother to love and care, without me realizing it, I was always in a vacuum over something when I was little. It wasn’t a big deal during those tender years over the fact but it slowly started eating up on my emotions when I was a teenager.
But, I was tough (and still am). I am trained to be tough throughout my life. Physically, mentally and emotionally!
I never had complaint over poorly served food in the dining hall, neither did I complain on anything. Life has taught me to be happy with what’s in my hand and not to worry over things I never had, BUT, by no means to be complacent though.
During schooling years, some of my friends were feeling down when they were short by RM 20 to buy Adidas shoes but I on the other hand was hell of a happy boy with my Fung Keong canvas shoes.
I saw many parents attended the Parents-Teachers Day and they had big treats in the school cafeteria if not their parents brought them home cook food. And I was contented with our regular food served in the dining hall.
I saw how happy my friends were showing their parents around the school compound with their little brothers and sisters running around the turf with ice cream in hands, smeared over their cheeks.
I saw the way they part with their loved ones at the end of the day from the dormitory balcony as I had nothing to relate to my own personal experience.
I listened to them talking and bragging about promises by their parents with wonderful presents if they make good grades in the exams as I never had been trained to ask for anything.
Gosh, life is beautiful!
If God gives me a chance to have another life altogether, I’d still prefer the life I am having right from the Day 1 when I was born until now. If God allows me to be like any person I wish to be, I’d still choose to be me. That’s to show how much I cherish the life I am having. May be it was then, something was missing in my life but that something had becoming helpful in my later life. Had I not experienced all those trials and tribulations, I could’ve been hauling another set of attitude towards life altogether.
Glad to be me.
15 comments:
it's the past that make us today, it's the history that brings us to where we are now. joy or sorrow, up or down, it has made our life colourful. if just pitch black or pure white, no colour at all, then tak de seronoknya hidup ni. we need rainbows in our life to make it cheerful.
gab, hari tu gi round SU. tengok2 rumah. ok gak tapi cam jauh skit. jem tak area tu pagi2?
Gab..makes me sad reading your entry. Very humbling indeed..
Makes one think that the world doesn't evolve just around oneself. And for me to take a moment and take a look at other people's life..
Gab,.
I was unbelievably Happy with my 'Warrior' pair. If-you-know-U-Mean..
The feeling back then was incomparable now..
guess that why sometimes we spoilt our kids rotten when we can
maybe we're trying to be a 'gap-filler'..
another heartwarming piece from kampungboy. glad it made u turn out to be who u really are today eh?
Dear GAB,
I love reading your childhood memory and I surely respect and salute you for who you are now.
May God bless you forever.
(tq 4 dropping by...)
:) sure sweet childhood u had bro...and the past made us to be who we are today. To a great extent, our past shape the way we bring up our children too...so, the 'gene' is being passed on...
God bless our parents and grand parents!
idham
Hi Gab,
Reading this entry, only one think I can say..."it comes from your heart".
May yr future to come will be prosperous and full of happinest.
This entry brings tears to my eyes...
What is the present without the past right? n i can see that the void u had in the past is being fully utilised so that ur children will not feel what u felt.. Anyone can see from ur entries that u r a loving and caring dad..
and u glad to be u...is all that matters..
May ur life be as happy as it can be especially in the arms of ur beloved wife and lovely children :0)
by the way.. do i have ur permission to link u to my blog??
Sir, you are one of my favourite blog-writers....honest!
An old school song for u: Hanging Tough by the longtime defunct boyband of my form 1 days: NKOTB.
bro gab, sorry unrelated to ur entry, firstly.. a belated salam aidiladha. mmphh tak sangka kena tag. will do when i can find the time.
nway keep on writing.. suka baca cerita nostalgia macam ni.. :)
GAB,
i want to call u Sir also.. like Manal.......
baba black ship, have u any wool, yes SIR, yes SIR, 3 bags full....
Gab,
Glad to read of `glad to be me'. May you're always in good health..spiritual,mental,physical & social.
Hope to see you in TV, sharing your story... one day.
Salam.
DLT --> Right! Colorful life that makes it interesting to continue living. Talking about living, yeah... Saujana Utama to me is a good place to be at... far from hustle bustle of city life. If you do not mind being far, SU is a good choice for you. Nice house and prices lower than other established places
KD --> I have to admit, it was sad but life had to go on. I strived, looking for better life, that's why dwelling is not the word.
Well KD, there are many other people who are less fortunate than us. To compare that, no matter how hard life it may seem to us Malaysians as a whole, we are still not too bad.
JOKONTAN --> Nothing compared to hardship we faced before. Others have their own share as well, of course in different manner... we are never alone.
ATIZA --> Hahaha you have a good point there. Gap-filler... in my case GAB-filler. Spoilt to rotten may not occur to me because I teach them to understand life as a hard thing. But when it comes to loving and caring, YES... I give all I can as it adverse to what I have had experienced
KC --> Kampung is always my root, always proud of it.
Not necessarily we have to be well-off to be grateful and of course I am glad to be who and what I am today.
RINA JORDAN --> Don't forget, may be we worked to get what we have now BUT, the exact path is set by God. We are just at His mercy... Syukur over things, be it good or bad.
IDHAM --> Right, past made us what we are today and thus help shape the way we bring up children. I read somewhere, there are possibilities of carrying the same traits "genetically" in the way we bring up children based on our past OR out of will, one would go against what was proven bad on him. I hope I have done the right thing in educating and exemplifying good values in my kids.
ANGGERIK MERAH --> Thanks for the wish and likewise I pray for the best in your life as well... and every happiness to be with you all the time.
SIMAH --> Thank you for your kind words and your optimism on my being a loving and caring father. All I can say, I try my best and yes, as what you said, try my best for my children not to feel what I felt.
And thank you for having thought of linking me up, I am honoured.
MANAL --> Thank you. I am flattered but I wonder whether I deserve the compliment or not.
Thanks for the old song...!
MOMMY ALIF --> When you get older, you tend to look back more, that's why I found solace in writing things in my past. Salam Aidil Adha... TQ
About being tagged? hehehe Go ahead, do it... love to know some sides of you.
BUNGA --> Hehehe.... Call me GAB! Actually I have story to tell about that song as well. It deserves a whole entry proper for that...
KOPI O --> Of course I am glad to be me and it iseasy to be me also. I have to be in the rat race circumstantially but I am not racing, I just keep to my own pace. I am rich but not materially Sir.
My junks to be on TV? You're kidding.
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